i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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