Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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