Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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