I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
