If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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