in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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