I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
