Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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