every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
