Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
