She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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