The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
