I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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