im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
