I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
