I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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