apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
