and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
