I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
