Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
