That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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