Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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