so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drake has all the answers
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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