Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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