i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
