I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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