i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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