I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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