just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
