So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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