i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
