Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
