I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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