can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
