God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
