Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
