fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
