Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
