No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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