white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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