Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.

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(509): View more from Washington

i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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(919): View more from North Carolina

For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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(229): View more from Georgia

They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record

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(517): View more from Michigan

He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!

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