You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
