mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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