To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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