see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
