So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
