so explain again why im purple
no
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
