you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize