it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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