no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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