We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
