ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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