Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
