I think I won the penis lottery.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
