don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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