Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
